We all want the best in life, and after remember that there’s nothing wrong with striving to be the best in every capacity. With that being said, many of us set our standards way too high, to the point where our expectations aren’t realistic at all.
According to research this is something especially true whiff the newest adult generation millennials, which have been shown to be more perfectionist than previous generations. Being a perfectionist can certainly have its benefits, but it has its downfalls as well.
Having a good idea of what we want in life and what to strive for it is certainly beneficial, however this also commonly comes along with having expectations that are way too far out of our reach. This is especially true when it comes to relationships, as perfectionists tend to over scrutinize and judge potential partners, severely limiting their options.
How is Perfectionism Impacting Your Relationship?
People who are perfectionists also tend to be type a personalities, individuals who are extremely tightly wound and rigid. Perfectionist expect people to be punctual all the time, are extremely detailed to the point where an entire day needs to be planned out step by step. This can be extremely problematic if the perfectionist partner is someone who’s more carefree, as this doesn’t sit well with the perfectionist.
A prime example of this is in getting ready to go out to any type of event, whether it be dinner plans, a movie, opera, etc. If the plans are to be there at 7:00 PM for example, the perfectionist is going to want to be there at 7:00 at the latest. On the other hand the carefree person probably wouldn’t mind showing up a little bit later. This not only is unacceptable to the perfectionist but causes them anxiety which can easily lead to a fight.
If you’re a perfectionist the best thing you can do here is trying our best to take a step back and gain some perspective, try to realize that even being a little bit late to the event isn’t going to really matter one way or another in the grand scheme of things.
Body Image Issues
A perfectionist is also someone who is going to run into self esteem issues as well, as their expectations are extremely over the top in this regard as well. This means that even if a perfectionist is in good shape they are going to be 100% completely satisfied with their body, to which can be damaging to their psyche.
Feeling insecure about their body can also translate into problems within the relationship, to such as issues with performance related to the insecurity. Try to keep in mind just how happy your partner is about your body and how much progress you’ve made.
Something else that is extremely important to know in regards to perfectionist is that they tend to take things very personally and will take watch you say in an absolute literal sense. On the other hand someone who is a more experienced communicator will understand that everyone can interpret what is said in different ways.
This ability to gain good perception on the situation of being able to put itself in someone else’s shoes is extremely valuable here. Being aware of the other person’s speech habits and what exactly the meaning is behind their words can give some meaningful insight into what exactly their intentions are, and can help avoid more petty fights.
If you’re a perfectionist the way you should approach this is how you approach virtually any other topic, you need to essentially study your partner’s habits so you can become more aware of what exactly their meaning is behind the words in which they said. If it comes down to it you shouldn’t feel embarrassed in openly asking them to clarify what they mean.