Finding a relationship that works in any capacity is rather difficult to come by, so it is understandable why so many people try to make things work in their relationship as opposed to ending it in starting a new.
The problem here is that staying in a relationship that you know isn’t working can prevent you from finding one that actually does, so determining when to leave and when to stay is paramount. You need to evaluate your relationship and the reasons why it isn’t working, which is going to definitively tell you whether not is worthwhile going forward.
Here are the worst reasons why people stay in relationships, and why they shouldn’t consider settling.
1. Long History
A major reason why people end up staying in relationships longer than they should, is because they have a long history with their partner. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been in their relationship long time, but that’s they’ve known their partner forever and know every aspect of their personality.
This makes it very easy for people who’ve known each other for a long time to make huge commitments such as engagements were even marriage without really being 100% committed to the relationship. It’s all about familiarity, which makes this an extremely hard habit to break.
The best approach to the situation is to get to know your partner as best as you can early on, as a romantic relationship is completely different than your average one. What we mean by this is that many different aspects of someone’s personality do not emerge in a friendship as they would in a romantic relationship or partnership, so have the difficult discussions early on.
You need to determine whether or not you and your partner have the same long-term life goals as this is ultimately what is going to keep the relationship together in the long term. You also have to know when to walk away from a relationship and come to terms with the fact that it simply isn’t going to work out.
2. She is the Ideal Woman
The second most common reason why people staying relationships longer than they should is because they believe that their partner is an ideal one. They fit every mark on our checklist, being extremely attractive, intelligent, personable, and generally has it all.
In most cases a man will stay with their partner who has it all as they don’t think that they can do any better. What everyone needs to understand here is that just because their partner is someone they pick shouldn’t their fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean that they are the ideal partner.
Again having the same life goals here is ultimately what is going to determine the success of the relationship. Even if your partner is picturesque, if you want to have children and they do not-it’s something that can be a deal breaker. The same thing can be said for career goals as well, so make sure that you and your partner are on the same page before getting engaged or married.
3. Under Pressure
Being pressured and making decisions under extreme stress usually doesn’t go well no matter what the subject. This is even more so true when it comes to huge decisions which are going to greatly impact our life such as is the case with getting married.
Pressure to get married comes from our family, our friends, and from our biological clock itself. Getting married in starting a family is generally considered to be a proper path to go for everyone, it seems as if the pressure is always on.
It’s definitely easier said than done but you need to be able to make these decisions on your own. Make these huge leaps in life when you’re ready to do so-which won’t necessarily be when your friends and family are.
The vast majority of people out there want to get married at some point or another during their lives, which leads us to believe that generally speaking people don’t like to be low. Without being said being in a relationship just for the sake of being in one certainly isn’t healthy, and can be a huge barrier to actually finding someone that you want to be worth.
All of us know at least one person who is always in a relationship, that always seems to have someone on the back burner in case their current relationship goes sour. These types of people seem to never be single, and this type of detachment syndrome seems to be ever so more common.
While being alone definitely isn’t preferable, you always have to keep in mind that settling is something that just isn’t going to work out in the long run. This is true when all aspects of life, as if we settle we’re just making a compromise-one that we really aren’t comfortable in doing so. Remember that it’s ok to be selective, just try not to be too picky when it comes to choosing a long-term partner.